Many people who are overweight, feel the pressure to lose weight from outside influences, but fight for their right not to do so, why? Is it ignorance because they don’t know what the repercussions of their weight will be on healthcare and life expectancy? Or is it that they aren’t self aware enough to evaluate the cost of their weight as it relates to; their self-esteem, their self-image and the effects it is having on themselves, others, and their relationships?
If it is ignorance, then for these rare few there is but an awareness of discontentment, and that discontentment is pushed deep into the recesses of their mind. It is usually not ignorance that has someone fighting to stay overweight, but protection. It is common for overweight people to hide behind a defensive veil, aggressively standing up for their right to be themselves and to be accepted by others for who they are. Watch out if any of these loved ones suggested losing weight or a healthier lifestyle to these people. It is unfortunate that it is not clearer to these people that any change that their love ones are suggesting comes from wanting the best for them. It is not non-acceptance that drives a loved one to want the person they care about to be healthier, be more confident and live a fuller more rewarding life… but love.
This defensive veil is their protection, it is the outer shell that hides their true feelings. Take the veil and draw it back and you come face to face with a person that wants to change, and who in fact struggles with accepting and loving themselves. But, with an inability to know exactly how to change, a self-protecting mechanism kicks in and they stand vehemently up for their right to be any weight they choose and that they should be loved and accepted as they are.
Some use weight as the ultimate protection, a way to push others away. Some use it specifically to push away opposite sex or the interests of others. There is no threat of rejection if you don’t make yourself available to being rejected. By staying overweight and unattractive to others they protect themselves from others. It is not unusual for people in unhappy marriages to keep their spouses at bay by holding on to excess weight, for them it is easier to push their husband or wife away with how they look then by working through the relationship problems.
It might have become apparent, that being overweight is a selfish thing that affects everyone, it is also a thing that can be manipulated and can be used to push others away. Regardless of whether someone is defensive because they are hurting inside and wish terribly that they could lose the weight, or if they feel that way but have learned to use their weight for their own manipulation and protection, it is very sad. People should never fail to realize that the love and acceptance they fight for from others is not what they want. That love and acceptance is and always will be there from the people who love them… but this will never take away the pain they feel inside.
The love and acceptance they really desire, the one that can take away all the pain is not from any of the outside sources they look to, but is from within themselves. The second they take responsibility for their feelings, their attitude and their self-esteem they will be on their way. They will stop looking to others for acceptance and start taking the steps necessary to create the love and acceptance they so very much need from themselves.
It is only when we love and accept ourselves does one’s relationships with others soar to new heights and does our own self-mastery begin to blossom!